All posts in women’s issues

this will change lives!

I am inspired to make a life-changing trip for the many women and children of Haiti who suffer under a widespread sexual violence epidemic in the post-earthquake tent cities that have formed there, where assault has become rampant.   As a surivor of domestic abuse I am personally committed to raise money to help these victims and ask for your help.

As you know, I am extremely passionate about empowering women to live healthy, happy lives. This passion was ignited not so many years ago when I myself survived domestic violence, and went in search of healing. Today I am stronger and happier than ever before, and as a result of my experience, I firmly believe that healing for women who have suffered abuse must come from an integrated mind-body approach.

A Boston organization called yogaHOPE is partnering with a group in Port-au-Prince called AMURT.  AMURT is creating safe spaces and programming for women and children who have been the targets of sexual violence.  Team yogaHOPE has just returned from Port-au-Prince where it began the first of what will be a series of trainings for Haitian Community Leaders in a powerful integrated yoga and mindfulness-based curriculum to aid in these women’s healing—most of whom are survivors of horrific sexual violence. Many of these women’s young children have also been raped, resulting in compound trauma for entire families.

I am one of ten Americans who have committed to raise $3,500 toward the project and will have the life-changing opportunity to go and train with the group in Haiti this April.  Please take a moment to watch this inspiring video of yogaHOPE’s inaugural training in Port-au-Prince.

100% of the money I raise will go to support this initiative, and I’ll be paying my own way to Haiti. I am hoping for 100 of my friends, family and supporters to donate $35 to my page. To some in Haiti, that is one third of a monthly salary; $100 will pay one of these Haitian Community Leaders’ salary for an entire month. What may seem like a little to you is so very much to others.

Please donate HERE!  If $35 is too much for you now, please consider giving $10, $15, $20.

Thank you so much in advance for making this possible, and for helping me pay my healing forward!

media images of “perfect beauty” bringing you down? watch this.

perfection

I watched the documentary Miss Representation over the weekend, which challenges us to think about how much pressure we women put on ourselves to look “perfect,” thanks to the ridiculous amount of emphasis the media places on how women look, rather than what we achieve.  Meanwhile, controversy has been swirling lately over a sexy yoga advertisement on YouTube.  In reading one writer’s response to this, I came across this genius video that I just had to share.  I’m always looking for ways to infuse this blog with feminist values, without turning it into “mind, body, angry rant.com…”  I believe we can keep our feminist ideals, and our positive attitude, and I think this brilliant video does just that.  I shared it with my kids, and talked a little bit about what it meant.  I’m not sure they understand it quite yet, but I want to arm them from an early age to think critically about the messages they are being sent in the media.  I also wanted to remind myself.

Full disclosure: I’ve been feeling rather like “poop” since the holidays about 5 or 10 pounds that I gained over the last few months.  Seriously…  I’m over it.  What is it that I tell my students?  Life is cyclical, we have “on” and “off” cycles.  I’m back “on” now, planning what to eat so that I feed myself well, taking time for self-care so that I don’t burn out.  Miss Representation was a great reminder to put my energy into positive, constructive things, like the people I care about, my work, my goals, and enjoying life!

Have a happy week everyone,

Andrea

huffington post’s year in review for women

nobel_peace_prize_winners_2011
Nobel_peace_prize_winners_2011

Photo: 2011 Nobel Peace Prize Winners, from left, Leymah Gbowee of Liberia, Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf, President of Liberia and Tawakkul Karman, a women’s rights activist in Yemen. They were honored for working for women’s rights everywhere.

As 2011 comes to a close, it seems almost nonsensical to have to mention, let alone devote an article to, gender barriers. While women have made great strides, we still have a long way to go. Given the struggle to maintain our place as a leader in the global economy, why would anyone want to place any kind of barrier in front of women (or men) who could help our country compete in the world marketplace?

This next election will determine not only the presidency but also several critical House and Senate seats. We know that some of the biggest wins and losses of 2011 were on matters that will significantly affect our future, so it is important that we consider them as we examine the candidates, their records, and their promises. There are many issues at stake for women and their families.

A terrible decision: The U.S. Supreme Court’s sharply divided decision in Wal-Mart v. Dukes prevented the courageous women of Wal-Mart from taking on America’s largest private employer as a nationwide class-action group, leaving each employee to file her claim individually or in smaller, reformulated classes. Not only is this a tremendous, and in most cases unaffordable, financial burden on low-wage earners, but such legal fragmentation means that the same issue will come before numerous courts across the country, likely with varying results. However, despite this setback, we remain undeterred. After all, we know that the U.S. Supreme Court can be wrong — just ask fair pay icon Lilly Ledbetter.

Not just an adult problem: While sexual harassment hurts everyone, girls are disproportionately affected. Crossing the Line: Sexual Harassment at School, our groundbreaking research report, found that just 12 percent of the girls surveyed who were sexually harassed reported it. Boys who experienced sexual harassment at school were even less likely to report it — only five percent did so. This year, the U.S. Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights formally reminded schools, colleges and universities that Title IX prohibits sexual harassment and sexual violence. The department also reminded those institutions that they are responsible for stopping, fixing, and preventing bullying. But we still need Congress to address harassment and bullying to ensure a safe learning environment for all students. Children cannot learn if they do not feel safe.

Still earning cents to their dollars: Congress remains regrettably idle on the Paycheck Fairness Act, legislation that would, among other things, give businesses incentives to pay women fairly. Meanwhile, newspaper headlines misleadingly report that young women are out-earning their male counterparts. What they don’t tell you is how narrowly defined those studies are. I invite these writers to tell the average woman one year out of college why she already makes less than men in similar jobs with similar educational backgrounds. This is an economic issue that affects all of us, not only women but also the quality of life and buying power of their families. Congress needs to act responsibly and pass this legislation.

A surprising blow: The Obama administration stunned women’s health advocates and abortion opponents alike by blocking the Food and Drug Administration’s approval of selling over-the-counter emergency contraception. Along with the rest of the women’s rights community, AAUW expected the Obama administration to approve the sale of Plan B contraception — commonly referred to as the morning-after pill — without requiring a prescription. Let me be clear: our stance is not pro-abortion; it’s pro-choice. A woman cannot be reduced to little more than a walking uterus. This administration’s stated commitment to follow science instead of politics when making decisions was clearly not in evidence here, a disheartening development.

Challenges to family planning services: House Republicans tried to eliminate the Title X family planning program, which provides reproductive services to millions of low-income women. Despite widespread support, it appears that the program will likely come under fire next year –but AAUW will continue to defend this critical program. Republicans also banned the District of Columbia from using its own taxpayer money to fund abortions for low-income women. It concerns me that the deal was struck with President Obama’s consent. This ban was enacted in the spring budget deal and was reaffirmed again this month. AAUW opposes this ban and will keep advocating for women’s full reproductive health choices.

A victory in Mississippi: Voters in the Magnolia State defeated a ballot initiative that would have declared that life begins at fertilization, which supporters saw as a legislative foothold from which to launch a challenge to reproductive rights nationwide. The so-called “personhood” initiative was rejected by more than 55 percent of voters, falling far short of the threshold for enactment. Mississippi voters clearly demonstrated that reproductive rights are valued over extreme policies.

A step in the right direction: The Federal Bureau of Investigation will be updating its definition of rape to include both male and female victims and to include sexual assaults in which drugs or alcohol are used to incapacitate victims. The current federal definition, in place since 1929, is narrower than the one used by many local police departments. The current law’s focus on only physical violence leads to the under-counting of thousands of sexual assaults each year. Sexual violence is a pervasive social problem, and we need to integrate greater sensitivity and accuracy into reporting sex crimes.

Sparking important dialogue: Whether you love or hate the name, SlutWalks started important conversations all across the country — women to society, generation to generation, survivor to survivor. Coined in Canada, this tongue-in-cheek name underscores how labels and stereotypes mask the true harm victims experience. SlutWalk’s anti-victimization message has gained momentum in communities around the world.

Out of the driver’s seat: The two-decade-old campaign for driving rights for Saudi Arabian women continued this year without a happy resolution. It’s difficult to celebrate women’s rights when so many women around the world are excluded from full participation in society. Gaining the right to drive would be both a tribute to the tenacious women of Saudi Arabia and a beacon for women everywhere who are still demanding equal rights. A special note: our hearts go out to Middle Eastern women who have been on the front lines of the Arab Spring movement, especially now as Egyptian women are fighting for democracy with their own blood.

And the winners are: This year’s Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to three women’s rights activists — Africa’s first elected female head of state, a Liberian peace activist, and a human rights activist from Yemen.

In addition, U.S. girls swept all three age categories at the Google Science Fair, a far cry from generations past when women were not only excluded from scientific pursuits but told they could not succeed in such fields.

Can you hear us now? Women, yet again, have the power to make a difference in the 2012 election. Efforts such as AAUW’s voter education and mobilization campaign, It’s My Vote. I Will Be Heard, will engage women across the country to speak out at the polls. Our voices have been and always will be critical to the success of the United States and to the world at large. It only makes sense to organize, mobilize, and make some noise next year. We hope you’ll join us in speaking out.

That’s our list. What are your biggest moments for women this year?

This article was written by Linda Hallman at Huffington Post

are you financially empowered?

 

Whether or not we like to admit it, money is one of the most crucial factors contributing to personal empowerment and independence.  It is difficult to dream big and live your bliss when you are worried about simply meeting your most basic needs.  Financial stability gives us the foundation on which to build our dreams.  Many of us, especially women, could benefit from spending more time creating a solid financial footing for ourselves.   Lately I’ve been doing a little research on the topic of personal finance, and after reading through a stack of books, I thought I’d share the ones I recommend.  Some would say that pretty much all of the books available on this topic are outdated due to recent changes in the U.S. economic landscape; however, conventional wisdom tells us that ups and downs have always been and will continue to be part of the normal order of things.  Economic doom in the headlines is not a valid excuse to ignore this area of your life!

Interestingly, one of the first and most compelling personal finance books I encountered was Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover, which was recommended by a friend.   Although this book is a little dated, it has a lot going for it: Ramsey’s passionate writing will inspire you to want to eliminate debt and get in control of your finances.  He lays out a concrete, user-friendly plan for taking financial control.  Unfortunately, I found it hard to relate with Ramsey’s point of view.  He tells stories of people buying their homes outright, but refers to home prices in the ballpark of about $100,000.  (Umm, I live in Boston.)  His book also features frequent scriptural quotes and refers to gender/family roles that I had trouble connecting with.

I wondered if there was another personal finance book out there written specifically for women like me with a more “modern” family structure ;) and a fresher (even feminist perhaps?) point of view.  After a little searching I was glad to discover On My Own Two Feet by financial advisors Manisha Thakor and Sharon Kedar.  This book also provides a simple, straightforward, easy-to-follow plan for financial planning.  They do a phenomenal job boiling down their expertise so as not to overwhelm the reader with info.  They even include a chapter on the intersection of finances and relationships which sparked so much praise, they co-authored another book together Get Financially Naked: How to Talk Money with Your Honey.

Advice from the Total Money Makeover:

  • Debt is not an inevitable part of life, it is a choice.  You can opt out by delaying gratification and paying for things only when you have saved enough money for them.  Instead of spending money on monthly loan payments, you can funnel it into building wealth and investing for the future.
  • Before you do anything else, pay off your debt.  Even your student loans. 
  • Get rid of your car payment.  Save up for your next car, and think of all the money you will save in interest. (And forget about leasing a vehicle, it is a terrible value.)
  • Go for a 15 year mortgage over a 30 year.  Because your monthly payments will be higher, you will probably need to look for homes in a lower price range, but you will pay significantly less interest over the life of the loan.  Check out an online mortgage calculator for yourself to see the difference in total cost. 

Advice from On My Own Two Feet:

  • Start saving for retirement now.  Thakor and Kedar put this above paying off debt because of the importance of starting early to get the most benefit from compound interest. For an illustration of the magic of investing early, play around with these retirement and savings calculators.
  • Power Trio of Budgeting: assuming roughly 25% of your income goes to taxes, spend 45% on your necessities, 15% on fun, and 15% on savings (retirement, emergency fund, etc.)
  • Make sure you are properly insured: health, auto, home, and if you have kids, term life.  Stick with a company you’ve heard of.
  • Don’t buy a home unless you plan to stay in it for at least 5 years, and have 20% to put down, and keep all housing related expenses at or below 25% of your total income.
  • Be sure to have at least one credit card in your name only, and be cautious about taking on joint debts with your partner.
  • Make sure you stay acquainted with your financial situation, never let your partner keep you in the dark on this topic.

Do you feel financially secure?  If not, what steps can you start taking today?

[photo by lalunablanca]

may storm, a poem by alison luterman

My favorite poem ever.  I keep a framed copy of this hanging up at home.  I know it’s October, but I think the message resonates all year round.  And I’m sure I’ll repost it in the spring. :)

May Storm

The small roar of the heater
against the greater roar of the wind
bellowing through trees. Something cracks
the sky. It is all my body:
the lightning, the earth,
the soggy, grateful garden,
the battered grass
springing back
after each storm,
more lush, more wild,
more stubbornly green.

© Alison Luterman

bliss

                                                                      photo by jaimiearnold.com

You may have wondered why I chose to include the word “blissful” in my blog title.  Can healthy eating and exercise really be that amazing?  Well, yes, they can.  But that’s not why.  The reason is because bliss is so essential to my philosophy of living.  To live a full, meaningful, and personally authentic life is to live your bliss.  Bliss is not about perfectionism.  It is about joy.  It is about loving the process as much as the product.  It is about doing what you are meant to do in this world, not according to what others think you ”should” do, but according to what makes your heart want to dance and sing.  I want to share with you a little bit about how I began to discover my bliss.

In early 2007, I found myself in a scary place.  My children were 7 years old, and 7 months old.  I was dealing with a nasty truth I did not want to face:  I needed a divorce.  At this time I had no career, was completely financially dependent, and was living in another state, away from family and friends.  I didn’t even have my own credit cards, let alone a savings account.  Although I’d been attending school since the birth of my oldest child, I still had not completed my degree, and if I moved back to New England as I so wished to do, I would have to deal with the mess of sorting out another college transfer, another heap of credits down the drain that wouldn’t fit the requirements of another school’s degree plan.  Not to mention the fears I had about how my children would be affected by such a life change.  I didn’t know if I was up for the challenge that lay ahead if I chose to walk this uncertain path.

Based on a ”chance” discussion I had, someone recommended I check out a Women’s Studies conference that was being held at the college I was attending.  That is how I “happened”, one cold Saturday morning, to be sitting in a workshop held by a woman named Elizabeth Johnson, a graduate student of Women’s Studies, and women’s confidence coach.  The workshop was entitled “Tools to become more confident in your decisions,” or something to that effect.  I soon found out that the universe had led me exactly where I needed to be, because Elizabeth Johnson’s simple philosophy felt like an arrow hitting a bulls eye somewhere deep in my heart.  Her message was this:

Always honor your Authentic Self.

That’s it.  If you follow this principle, you will always do the right thing.  What is Authentic Self?  Authentic Self is your core being, it is what makes you YOU.  It can be fleshed out by looking closely at your passions, values, and personal gifts.  I encourage you to do what I did in that workshop.  Pull out a notebook, and list them.  Try to list at least 5 answers to these three questions:

  • What are your passions?  What do you LOVE?  What gets you excited?
  • What values are most important to you?  Creativity?  Community?  The environment?  Self-expression?  Integrity?  Gratitude?
  • What are your personal gifts/strengths?  What are you good at?  Are you a musician?  Do you have a way with words?  Are you a leader? 

I had an epiphany that day.  It became clear to me that the life I was living was not authentic.  I was making decisions based on what I thought would please others, not honoring who I really was.  I’m not saying it’s wrong to do things for others.  Sometimes it feels good to give, but often we give too much.  The universe wants you to be the fullest expression of your own unique and beautiful self.  The universe does not want you to suffer, settle, or sacrifice.

When you know your Authentic Self (ever-evolving as it may be) you will know your bliss.  When you live authentically, you will live your bliss.

The revelation I experienced that morning gave me the courage and the conviction to take the first steps, however frightening they may have been, to begin living the life I was meant to have.  Much of what followed was not easy!  But it was right for me.  I am forever grateful.

LIVE YOUR BLISS!

From my heart,
Andrea

P.S. This is dedicated to all my friends who are at similar crossroads in their lives.  All my love.

Bliss: 

  1. complete happiness: perfect happiness
  2. spiritual joy: a state of spiritual joy
Synonyms: ecstasy, heaven, paradise, enjoyment, happiness, delight, pleasure, harmony, blessedness

let’s just call it a tank top

Maybe you’re familiar with the term, maybe you’re not: wifebeater.  I’m not talking about the kind that abuse, traumatize and trample the spirits of the people closest to them.  I’m talking about the kind you buy in a pack of 3.  They come in small, medium and large.  They are undershirts, and unfortunatley, “wifebeater” is a popular slang term used to describe them. 

I’m not easily offended.  Bring on the four-letter words, as long as they are not being used as weapons to hurt anyone.  But I cannot tell you how deeply offensive I find this term.  It is more vulgar, more obscene than any of the words I was taught to think of as “swears.”

If you’ve used this popular term, PLEASE don’t think that I want you to judge yourself, or feel guilty.  That’s not what I’m about!  On the contrary, I want you to feel perfectly blissful.  I’m just asking you to stop and think.  Domestic violence is not ironic, it is not cute, and it is definitely not funny. 

In “The Four Agreements,” don Miguel Ruiz advises us to be impeccable with our word, to use the power of our word for good.  I try to remind myself of this advice every time I catch myself beginning to gossip, or gripe.  I think this is another instance where this Toltec wisdom applies.  Every thought we put forth has the power to affect the world around us.  Let’s try to use our powers to do good!

:)

xoxo Andrea

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